Please, try not to cry.
Although tonight will be the last time we see
Snooki, Mike, Pauly D, Sammi, Ronnie, Deena, Vinny and
JWoww being the dysfunctional family that they are on the small-screen, know that the guys from
Jersey Shore are not leaving us empty-handed.
The
stars from the hit MTV reality show have taught us a lot of things
these past six seasons, and it's not just that a group of young adults
can get
paid bank to party and hook up with randoms.
Here are 21 things we've learned, thanks to the
Jersey Shore.
1. Way of Life: Your necessary daily routine can be
summed up in three letters. Yep, GTL. If you're not going to the gym,
tanning and doing laundry every day, you're slackin' off.
2. New Lingo: Jersey Shore pretty much introduced us to a new language.
• Kooka: an alternate term for lady parts
• Meatball: a young woman. usually small in size, that enjoys getting wasted, dancing and partying 24/7
• Twinning: scoring with twins
• Grenades and Landmines:
both refer to unfortunate looking women, however a grenade is larger in
size than a landmine. A whistle may also be used to warn friends of an
incoming
• Juiceheads and Gorillas: very buff men that may or may not be on steroids
• DTF: stands for "down to f--k." Common use includes, "Hey girl, are you DTF?" and "That chick was definitely DTF."
• Smush: another word for intercourse
• Swacked: getting your swagger jacked
• FPC: fist-pump, push-up, chapstick
• Pulling a Robbery: when one swoops in and steal someone's girl/guy
• The Shirt Before the Shirt: the plain T-shirt worn while waiting for others to finish getting ready in an effort to keep your going-out shirt fresh
3. Dance Moves: It's
necessary to always "beat the beat up," so one must start low on the
ground, and moving with the beat, gradually stand up while punching the
air with their fist, or fist-pumping. An additional move for the ladies
is a Jersey Turnpike, which requires you to bend over, touch your toes
and wiggle what you're workin' with.
4. Hairstyles: Ladies
and gents have been introduced to a new 'do. With careful blow-drying
and globs upon globs of gel, a guy can achieve the perfect blowout like
Pauly D. On the other hand, girls (with or without a teasing comb) can
rock a poof, like Snooki.
5. Matters of the Heart: No
matter how many times you say, "Don't fall in love at the Shore," you
probably will, anyways (Hi, Ron and Sam!). But there is one type of
romance that will outlast whatever comes your way—a bromance like Vinny
and Pauly's.
6. Italian Tips: Thanks to Sitch
sacrificing his well-being, we learn that walls in Italy are not made of
dry wall, but cement, and it can really mess you up if you, for
whatever reason, want to bang your head against it. It's also probably a
better idea
not to drive yourself on international roads and just stick to cabs (which you can announce have arrived by yelling "
Cabine sono qui!")
7. Never Too Cheesy: When asking a girl to
be your girlfriend, don't be hesitant to get a little mushy. Asking her
out through a T-shirt can actually work in your favor.
8. Footwear Is No Joke: You can never have too many sneakers. Never. And you must take care of them like they're your children.
9. Prank Champions: Prank
wars are serious, and if you've ever needed ideas on what to do, the
past six season have given us multiple examples of what works and what
doesn't. For example: Putting all the interior furniture outside and
vice versa while everyone's away—epic. Attempting to ambush a bunch of
guys with weenie water balloons—not so good.
10. Duck Phones: Life is just better with them in it.
11. Survival in the Shore: Believe it or not, an unborn baby can survive in Seaside, as witnessed by Snooki's little man,
Lorenzo.
12. The Art of Arguing: Talking
at each
other in increasing volume is not the only way to a memorable argument.
Grab something that's near you and chuck it. If nothing good enough is
at reach, then it might get physical. (P.S.: Probably best to file this
under "What Not to Do.")
13. Rules of a One Night Stand: Unless
they are extra special, your sexual partner for the night should not
have the luxury of sleeping over and getting to see the sunlight the
next day. Once the deed is done, a cab is called and out they go.
14. Beware of Sneaky Girls: Don't
let some stranger put on your expensive diamond chain. She'll leave
with it. And then come back the next morning with an, "OMG, I didn't
even know I had this, but here you go," just so she can see you again.
15. Killer Moves Not Necessary: Thanks to Mike, we now know that you don't need to have awesome dance moves to make it as a stripper.
16. Got Electrocuted? You're OK: Deena
getting electrocuted from her blow dryer allowed Sammi to reassure us that it's not a big deal.
"I think you'll be OK. Police zap criminals with their electric gun all the time and they're all right."
17. It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere: It's
called Happy Hour for a reason. The cast made it clear that day
drinking is not only acceptable, but encouraged. And if you're
pregaming, the best mix you can make is Ron-Ron Juice (watermelon juice,
cherries, cranberry juice and vodka).
18. Sexual Orientation Is Not a Defining Factor: Two
chicks seem interested in hooking up with you, and then they share
they're lesbians. Don't throw up your white flag just yet. Vinny showed
us that it's still possible for a guy to score a three-way even if the
girls aren't into you.
19. Fighting Words: Is a brawl about to commence? In order to look tough, your opening line must be, "Come at me, bro."
20. Medical Advancement: Jersey Shore taught us that you can—yes,
can—get pink eye from having a person's ass in your face. Proceed with caution.
21. Resourceful Alternatives: Don't have any luggage? Don't worry. Trash bags are a great replacement.
source: eonline.com
